I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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