Kiss
Puke
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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