In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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