don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize