Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
