Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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