lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize