honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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