Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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