I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
