didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
