He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize