capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize