Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
