You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
