Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
