She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
