I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i dont even know how to be here
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
