She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
