I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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