Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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