My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
