it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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