Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
