I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
