"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
