Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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