There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Swine flu is the new snow day.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
