so that wasnt chicken after all
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
