is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
