Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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