he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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