Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
