She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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