After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
