I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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