hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
