To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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