we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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