You're so nebulous sometimes
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
