He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How external is "for external use only"?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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