69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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