i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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