She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
