I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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