you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
