I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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