I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i now understand why vodka
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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