She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
