I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
