That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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