idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
