Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
