She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So much rum. So many feels.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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