How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
