she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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