So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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