My nipple is on Facebook.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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