I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
