Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
please come you make the beer taste better
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize