so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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