Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
