he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
