So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
