Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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