Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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