today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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