I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
